capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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