She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
