When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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