remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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