I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
