Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
