On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
