just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
