i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize