You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
