I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
