why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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