I'm going to jail i love you
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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