I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
