Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
