well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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