I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They left me at home... I'm a liability
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
