38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
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