I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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