And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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