Buhtt sex?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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