I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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