The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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