Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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