Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Why is your signature on my underwear?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize