so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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