I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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