she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
