I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You had me at "let me see your balls"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
