I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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