Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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