i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
