No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
