All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
