I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
