Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
