It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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