He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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