i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
