Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i out mim tonsoeep
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