Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize