i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
