thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
