Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
a search helicopter?!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
