I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
