At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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