You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
