I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
