first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
