Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize