I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
