And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
