There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
