Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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