So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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