She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
