i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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