No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
